Los Angeles Cemetery Movie 101

A couple of years ago, some amigos of mine who live in Silverlake suggested that we all go to see a movie in a cemetery. Um, excuse me? Isn't that scary? Disrespectful? Blasphemous, even? Nope. It's incredible. It's worth every penny of the "suggested donation".


(Are you unsure of what I'm even talking about? See the movie Valentine's Day. There's a cemetery movie scene toward the end with Shirley MacLaine, Hector Elizondo, Topher Grace, and a boatload of extras. It's almost 100% accurate, except for at a real cemetery movie, you can't get advance tickets.)

Since I'm a "veteran", people ask me quite often if I'll show 'em the ropes. Understandable since it's an off-beat, kooky adventure. Had I not been invited by my party crew, I'm not sure if I would've ever braved the crowds to experience this "totally L.A." thing-to-do.

As much as I'd like to go every weekend, I simply can't. As you know, I'm on a budget! So, unless you want to cover me on the price of admission, then this will have to do.

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Cemetery Movie 101

Step 1: Check out http://www.cinespia.org/ to find out what movies are showing. See one that interests you? Then move on to Step 2. If you don't see a decent movie, then I suggest you wait for the following month's list to come out. It's no fun if you're stuck watching a bummer flick!

Step 2: Google map it.

Step 3: Make sure you have $10 cash for each person attending plus $5 per car. (You can park outside the cemetery for free but it's almost impossible to find a parking spot.)

Step 4: Gather pillows, blankets, and SHORT lawn chairs. See my pic on the right? The backs of those chairs are tall, but we lowered them during the movie. Remember, you'll be sitting on the ground, and so will the people behind you. Be cool and don't block their view.

Step 5: Dress comfortably. Some peeps look like they're going clubbing afterward. Some actually dress up movie-theme style (like the Beetlejuice viewers to the left). If that's your definition of comfort, then coolio. It can get a wee bit nippy there (since you'll be sitting on the lawn) so bring a hoodie. Heck, bring your Snuggie, if ya want! You'll be camped out for at least 3 hours, so really, leave the super skinny jeans for another day.

Step 6: Pack a picnic. The prevailing food of choice seems to be all things Trader Joes, toted in via super cool reusable shopping bags.I'm unemployed so I can't shop where the rich kids shop, so I bring plates full of leftovers, or I stop by Subway for a $5 footlong. Just bring whatever makes you happy. Sandwiches, burgers, tofu casserole, whatever. You can bring coolers but you can't bring barbecues, sorry! Alcohol is acceptable. Don't be a beligerant drunk though, that harshes everyone's mellow.

Step 7: Get there early. Gates open at 7:30 for walk-ins AND cars. Walk-ins can wait all afternoon, if desired. Cars, not so much. Cops/security WILL send you packing if you try and idle by the curb. I've been about a mile back in the line and still made it in, so don't freak out if you get in a line that seems totally endless. Sundays are a better choice if over-crowding/sell-outs are a concern.

Step 8: Set up on the lawn. Pretty much everyone wants to get front & center. That's not likely to happen. It's ok, there really are no BAD seats. I kind of like sitting to the side because there are no designated pathways to the restroom. You WILL be walking on other people's blankets and hopping to the teeny, tiny patches of grass between blankets. Easy to do when there's still sunlight, almost impossible during the movie. So... this is important... USE THE RESTROOM BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS!

Step 8: Enjoy the DJ while meeting your lawn neighbors and people watching. The movie starts at 9 so you have plenty of time.

Step 9: Watch the movie. Don't be a dick: Leave the cell phone conversations for later. In fact, save ALL conversations for later. This is also a bad time for greco-roman wrestling. This IS a good time for blanket snuggling. Don't get too hot and heavy, por favor, because 98% of the people around you don't want to see that. (The other 2%, well, those are the ones you need to worry about.)

Step 10: After the movie, clean up your mess. This is a cemetery, not the city dump. And you need the good karma. :) Whilst on your way out, visit Johnny Ramone's grave. You can't miss it. He'd appreciate it, I just know it. Don't go stepping all over other people's graves though (remember that karma thing!).

Please leave any other cemetery movie suggestions/ideas/feedback/notes of gratitude, etc. below. Except for complaints. Leave those in your head. ;)

(Some pics borrowed from www.facebook.com/cinespia.)